Failure

Well... In an attempt to rectify the problems I've had with Blogger things have only gotten worse. I can no longer access my email (williamwilltell@yahoo.com) and now Everytime I try to go to my homepage it crashes completely. Ugh. I swear I have the worst luck, things are just always so complicated. But I don't fucking care. I won't stop this time. It may take a month and I may have to change every goddamn thing or just start brand new but I'll fucking do it. Bit by bit, piece by piece. I'm coming back and nothing can stop me. I'm going to attempt this all again tomorrow and hopefully I can fix at least one damn thing. Oh on top of all of that, I lost all of my old data and media. No thinspo, no sites, no passwords etc. What seems like a lifetime of accumulated information and support - lost. Out of all of this there is one piece of good news. I didn't eat today. Nothing. And that feels great. I know a couple of days ago I weighed 151.6 pounds. So much when I look out how much lower I've gotten and been. But hey, I have to stay positive. Apparently this is a new beginning for me (whether I chose it or not) and I'm just going to make the best of that I can. You'll be hearing from me again, you can count on that. I am determined.

Still trying to be here

Blogger on my device is still an ass. But if I feel determined enough I can get something rough posted. Anyway, I'm in the midst of reading this entire blog on tumblr from beginning to end. There's a lot to be said about my obsessive and addictive personality. Ha Anyway the blog is called proanaboy.tumblr.com I'm about halfway through (60 of 122 pages) but hear is the troubling part. Just from what I read on the first page the boy who kept this particular blog has died. :/ I can't believe it, i hope it's some cruel or twisted hoax but by all appearances it's legitimate. About 20 or 30 pages into reading I said in a choked whisper "No, I don't want him to be dead, he can't be. I need to talk to this boy." Ugh It's a lonely night. I'm getting really motivated to do whatever I can to get blogger working for me again. I need to get back to my girls and my blog on here. I miss you so. And I really, really want to find another ana boy that I can talk with.