Gain

Here recently I've been doing ok, eating pretty good and not binging. But as I'm sure you are all aware "pretty good" just doesn't cut it in this world. I've gained a little back, back into the 140s. Good glob, I just can not seem to escape them for long. Fuck! Anyway, so it's back to really strict eating. I really want to start on a three day fast. That always just helps me get going otherwise I'll just give in each time and eat more than I want. So a three day fast it is. Oh, aaand as I'm sure you are all aware St. Patrick's Day is coming up and Spring Break. Which basocally means I'm going to be a complete drunk in about a week. I really need to get ahead of the curve before that starts and I inevitably gain weight from drinking and tending hangovers. I'm not going to lie, I know I can't avoid it. I can't say no to alcohol especially during any kind of holiday/feativities. Anyway, hopw to hear from some of you ladies and I'll try to wander over to your blogs and drop a few comments here and there later today. :)

Still around

Just letting everyone know I'm still around and doing decently. :) I haven't been keeping up on blogs (bad William) but I should be able to catch up fairly easily. Can't wait :) I hope everyone's been doing well and losing weight. Let's get skinny skinny skinny. It's a very boring and lonely night in William's world. I have no responsibilities, no hobbies, no interests. Nothing. Now I know that's not so bad, I mean nothing is really bad in my life, not particularly anyway. But I'm an intelligent, 20 year old boy. I have ambition and energy! I need an outlet! I want to be doing something, moving somehwere. But I'm just kind of stuck. I guess I've all the more time to focus on becoming skinny. Whatever, just rantis of a late night thought process. Good night my lovelies.

Holy Fuck

I feel like shit today and you don't even want to know what the scale says. It's official: food is my fucking enemy. I didn't even eat that much yesterday! Seriously! I'm hoping some weird voodoo, magic, jinx shit is going on right now and tomorrow the scale will be back to normal. HOLY FUCK. I'm still staying positive because even if I really have gained all that weight it just motivates me that much more to put the fucking fork down and starve on. I thought I could take one down without being a crazy person and just eat a couple of things. Well hell no I can't! I have to starve Everyday to get as little as I need to be. Silly William for thinking you could eat.

Celebration

Well, I kind of fucked up today. Not bad but still a fuck up. The evil side of my brain that likes to see me suffer convinced me it was ok to eat since I had done so well and got into the 130's! Well shit on that, I didn't want to eat! But I did. :P Not a whole lot but I'm definitely expecting a gain. And I purged. It was so weird because I didn't even think about it, it just kind of happened. Anyway, my attitude overall is still great and I can't wait to continue losing. Just a minor set back. I hope everyone is doing well, I love you all!

...

Finally got to weigh myself again... I'm back in the 130's! 139.6! Still a ways to go but that was a small victory. c: I've lost 4.6 pounds in the last week. It finally feels like this constant starving is paying off.

Ugly

I'm really struggling with not eating today. And all I want to do is weigh myself. I'm doing good so far. It's so weird that in one moment the two thing you want moat can be to eat and to starve. Anyway, I thought I'd post this video that really helps me. Not necessarily avoid eatin but it helps me feel the emotions that otherwise are just a big tangle and storm. Oh, also I made an e-mail for this blog. It's williamwilltell@yahoo.com Feel free to hit me up. Oh, and the Biggest Loser is on tonight. Hooray!

UGLY

FRUSTRATION

I don't eat anything but 0 cal foods for 2 and a half days and lose only 0.6 pounds?! I am livid. I've had to deny food so many times these last couple of days, I'm absolutely starving, and I've only lost 0.6 pounds! Fuck everything