I'm coming back

Idk what to say really. There's so much. I'm crying right now. I know people say it all the time but I really don't cry that often. There's also a huge gash on my thigh. Honestly, I'm glad it's there. I'm probably going to make another. To anyone who is avoiding cutting I advise you skip ahead to the next paragraph. Triggers! To anyone who is sticking with me, reading, I've cut for a few years. Never that seriously, but by that I mean not that often, I've got some scars that would put plenty of cutters to shame. It sounds like I'm bragging, but I'm not. Idk maybe I am, fuck it, you people don't know who I am I don't have to pretend to be modest, humble, or charming. Anyway, I've cut myself before, just those little cuts enough to make you bleed but the skin doesn't really split it just scrapes in a way. Just enough to vent some frustration and agression. But this time, and probably a few dozen times before I reeeally cut. I mean the kind of cut that just splits the skin right in half. You can see down a good quarter inch where there is just a pale blood littered surface. And it brings that kind of pain that just keeps going and going. And as moments pass, your body realizes what has happened and the blood starts to flow. So much blood from one cut... I've tried to kill myself by cutting before too. I've got two huge gashes, one on the top and bottom side of my forearm, up near the elbow. And then six, vertical gashes on my wrist. A few of those are weak. It gets surprisingly hard to keep digging that blade into your skin as you rip it away. Idk how I didn't die that night. I'm glad I didn't but tired I didn't at the same time. Anyway. I'm gonna start a new paragraph so anyone who needed to skip ahead will know...

To anyone who may be concerned, I am NOT going to kill myself. I'm way past that in my life. This is just a rough patch for me, I'll make it through just as everyone else does. Now for another post here shortly...