Scared :(

As I stated before, the third day of a fast has always been hard for me. I decided I was going to fast for seven days with only water, coffee with zero calorie sweetener, and secrets. Well guess what? I'm out of fucking sweetener and fucking cigarettes. That is how hard it is for me to keep the supplies I need to fast effectively, my parents won't buy me any of the things I need and any income I have is extremely unreliable. Oh, and to top it all off, I'm going to be stuck at home, by myself, in a house filled with food, for the entire day. If I can make it through this day without eating or losing my mind, I don't even care, I will be damn proud. I can do this. I weigh 140.3 pounds, which is easily 20 pounds more than I want to. I have at least 20 fat, disgusting, repulsive, unattractive pounds covering my body. I simply CAN'T eat today.